A few months ago I was having it out with God. I was broken. But I was holding on.

If you’ve read much of my blog, you’ll know that music often resonates with me. One song by the band Lifehouse captures pretty much exactly what I was feeling during that stage a while back. The song is appropriately named Broken.

—-

Broken

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you’ve already figured out

I’m falling apart, I’m barely breathing
With a broken heart that’s still beating
In the pain is there healing
In your name in find meaning
So I’m holdin’ on, I’m holdin’ on
I’m barely holdin’ on to you

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I’m an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose, they’re still looking for life

I’m falling apart, I’m barely breathing
With a broken heart that’s still beating
In the pain is there healing
In your name in find meaning
So I’m holdin’ on, I’m holdin’ on
I’m barely holdin’ on to you

I’m hangin’ on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I’m hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be ok

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven’t forgotten my way home.

—-

Thankfully by God’s grace, mercy, and loving kindness, I am now out of that brokenness with a renewed  vigor. The last line of this song “I may have lost my way now, haven’t forgotten my way home” was exactly what I was feeling during that time. I knew my faith was still there, but I was lost, strolling through my brokenness as if it were a wasteland. But I knew I that the wasteland and brokenness would eventually lose its grip and I once again would find my way home.

One reason I love Lifehouse is because a lot of their songs are written from a deeply spiritual base. I almost have to listen to the song a few times to realize that it’s written about heaven, or God or brokenness. (Another reason is that their sound is AWESOME. I think I could listen to Jason Wade’s voice all day.)

Here’s the video for this song if you want to hear the band sing it.

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